Thankfulness

Many a times in life you are so caught up with your own life that you actually miss the whole idea of living your own life. I am someone who tends to find the little black holes in life and dive head in. Sometimes its not the big events in life that trips you up.

For me its the little things, its the underachievements, the feeling that you could have done more but you didn't. The thing is this, while you are pondering over what you could have done, you have actually lost more time not doing the things you should do.

There are 2 voices in my head. One says :"Stop bitching about it and do it! Even if you fail, you have actually done something!" Another voice goes:"Why try so hard, be contented with life as it is. Life is like that, life is such, its too late anyway."

Sometimes i wonder what is wrong with me? It is not that i don't work hard or know what needs to be done with my life. It is as if there is this invisible wall that i keep running into, an inertial that stops me right in my track when i want to build up momentum.

Distractions. Many distractions. I always thought that i am someone who values time alone. But its weird that i hardly have any alone time nowadays. I can start the week with nothing to do after work and suddenly, by sunday night, i already pack 5 out of 7 days of the following week. Like i kept telling Ruth that i want to go out less often, spend more time with my mum at home, but it never happens.

Looking at my life, i should actually be thankful. I am thankful that i grew up in church since my teenage years. It taught me many valuable lessons, values and no matter how screwed up my life can be now. The foundation is already there. No matter how hard i struggle it has been cast in stone.

I am thankful that i have many friends who cares for me. Who bothers to even ask me if i am okay despite their own struggles in life.
I am thankful that i have put on 10 kg of weight for the past 2 years and not 20 kg!
I am thankful that i still have a job that allows me to pay my bill.
I am thankful that i still have my family around me.
I am thankful that my conscience is clear and i have not done anything to anyone or stabbed anyones back. Even as i write this i am looking at all the daggers behind my back.
I am thankful that though i am slightly overweight, i am healthy.
I am thankful that i have very good friends which i am very sure will be there for me to help if i ask them for help.
I am thankful that i can sleep soundly at night.
I am thankful that my body is whole.
I am thankful, truely thankful.

枫

乌云在我们心里搁下一块阴影
我聆听沉寂已久的心情
清晰透明就像美丽的风景
总在回忆里才看的清
被伤透的心能不能够继续爱我
我用力牵起没温度的双手
过往温柔已经被时间上锁
只剩挥散不去的难过
**********************
缓缓掉落的枫叶像思念
我点燃烛火温暖岁末的秋天
极光掠过天边
北风掠过想你的容颜
我把爱烧成了落叶
却换不回熟悉的那张脸
缓缓掉落的枫叶像思念
为何挽回要赶在冬天来之前
爱你穿越时间
两行来自秋末的眼泪
让爱渗透了地面
我要的只是你在我身边
**********************
被伤透的心能不能够继续爱我
我用力牵起没温度的双手
过往温柔已经被时间上锁
只剩挥散不去的难过
在山腰间飘逸的红雨
随著北风凋零我轻轻摇曳风铃
想唤醒被遗弃的爱情
雪花已铺满了地
深怕窗外枫叶已结成冰

Music... its a wonderful thing

I have always love music. From just listening to singing or even performing a song during my friend's weddings. I always wondered how did it all started? How did my interest become a love. First and foremost, I love singing and there is no denying that. Somethings i can be caught walking down Orchard road singing a song out loud unknowingly. Ask some of my friends and they will be too embarassed to even recall those times.

These days, it gets better because the chances of me walking down Orchard road is lesser and i drive around. Nevertheless, singing in the car has its hazard for me and especially for other road users. Sometimes when i get into the emotions of the song, i get pretty worked up and yes i sing out loud in the car. I tend to slow down unknowingly when i am singing a sad love song. I speed up when i listen to something upbeat. Cars beside me also tend to slow down cuz they are looking at me from their seats and wondering WTF is this guy doing. And yes my face reflects the emotions of the song as well and when i mean sing, i perform the song. I will charge concert tickets for driving beside me next time.

The first song i ever remember were in the 80s where there were all these Hk Kungfu serials like Tian Long Ba bu, Sheng Diao Xia Lu and even Singapore serials like Xiao Fei Yu, Mist lock Nanyang. These songs are all classics now. I learnt to sing all those songs when i was young. Also, not forgetting all the vocal warm up i do in school every morning singing the national Anthem and hymnals from my little red song book. And yes, you guess it again, i am that itrritating classmate that sings the loudest during morning assembly. No problem in getting my class to sing in the morning, the problem is lowering the volume.

I remember there was once the whole school was assembled in the school hall after the exams and the teachers had trouble thinking of what to do with us to kill time. One of the teacher dared me to go up to the stage infront of the whole school to sing a song thinking that no one will ever embarass themselves on stage. He was wrong! I didn't just sing the song, i performed the song and had actions all the way through the song with the help of some innocent classmates who did back up beside me. The whole school laugh till their sides split, and i have just confirm myself not just a the class clown but the school clown. Not something i should be proud of really. But on hindsight, i can truly say those were the days.

This is what music can do. Music evokes emotion not just by the lyrical meaning of the song. It can be just music without lyrics and you can still be sitting there quietly crying your heart out. Music can sometimes be a key that unlocks certain memories that you thought were no longer there. Certain song bears different meaning to different people. Music is so powerful that it is used in worship in church. Beat that!

All in all, music to me is a form of communication. I can talk to my friend using the lyrics and title of songs the whole day and i will atill make sense. I can just sing what i want to say if i want to, it is irritating but it still works.

I am a peacock and i am proud of it

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Peacock? The 3rd definition of Peacock on Dictionary.com defines it as a a "vain, self-conscious person." Hmmm... sounds like anyone you know?

Peacock are showy by nature, but i think the definition on dictionary.com is unfair to the peacock. (I am personifying here) The thing is, we don't always want to show and spread our tail feathers and yes i am a peacock and i am proud of it!

We the peacocks are not vain, maybe self conscious but definitely not vain. We carefully pick our timing and ocassions to be showy. This is good because no matter how good you are if you keep showing off your ass, not only will people not be impress but pissed most of the time.

So my good looking bunch of friends, listen to me. I don't want to name names but Gin listen to me: no matter how pretty or good looking you think you are or even how "can make it (A sai)" and talented you think you are, pick and choose the appropriate times to show off in the most unobviously obvious way. People will be irritated and aggitated if you keep sticking your ass feathers in their face all the time. I am sure many of you can relate to people you know who are ill behaved like that, ass feather and all.

So my friends, recognize the fact that you are a peacock and be proud of it. But then again if you are a peacock you wouldn't have a problem being proud. As the saying goes:"Be as proud as a peacock, just don't be a cock!"

New lease of blog

Just transferred all my postings from my friendster blog over to blogspot. Think this will be a better place to host my blogs from now on. Hopefully this will also mark a new beginning in my life as well. Makes me feel like an Indian though, since Deepavali is just tomorrow, Isn't Deepavali kindof like New Year for Indians. (Lunar new yr for chinese, Hari Raya for Muslims? Duh!) New Year new beginning?!?!

So many things has been happening that makes me feel like my life is spiralling out of control. My family, my work, my personal life. My decision to stay put in Singapore and not move to Macau has many implications which i shall not go into details in such a public blog. My Mother's health is one of the factor that made up my mind.

I have spoken to many close friends about my situation and why i have come to such a decision. The thing about sharing and asking for opinions is that everyone has their own point of view and different experiences that makes them come to their own conclusion. What you have to do is to flilter such "advices" and extract the crux of it and come to your own conclusion. Most important of all, make a decision.

To come to a decision you will need to visualise the end result in your mind (ala 7 habits of highly effective people) Once you know you can live with the result, balancing all the pros and cons, risk and rewards, put your foot down and say, i have decided and this is what i want to do. Mind you, this will not be easy to do, that is being unwaivering in your decision. Many people will start telling you their point of views and why you shouldn't do this and why shouldn't do that. At one point i was very sure that i was going to Macau for at least 1 year. Look at me now, i am very sure that i am not moving to Macau, but this time i have very substantial reasons why i am not moving there.

I never knew myself as much as i have in the past year. All the experiences i have garnered was all worth the sacrifices and shit i went through. I realise what i can do and what i cannot do. I realise what i can excel in and what i can do just averagely. I understand what is most important to me versus what is just good for me. My weaknesses versus my strengths. My confidence versus the lack of self esteem. How i view myself and how others view me. This wilderness experience has taken me walking round and round for too long. I have been in the wilderness for more than 10 years now. God, isn't it time to move into the promise land?!?

"'I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!'"

Whats' love got to do with it?

Recently i had a very interesting conversation with a friend about breakups. It got me thinking about how okay is it to be still friends with your ex. after the breakup? Isn't it a little weird that someone who use to be so close to you suddenly becomes just a friend?
I use to be a firm believer that it is possible. Not anymore actually, it actually feels kind of strange to see your ex. as a friend. Especially seeing your ex. with someone new. It feels like listening to your own voice after recording it, damn bloody stupid and weird!
I mean i am happy that she has moved on but it feels very uncomfortable. Imagine meeting both of them and having to small talk. The conversation might go something like "Hey how are you?" "Great we are doing fine?" You carefully avoid topics that will reveal you were once close, so you moved on to very generic questions about work? recreational topics etc. How painful is that? Its like sitting through dinner with fear factor on tv, bull testicles in your face and pig urine poured over your head. Totally nauseating.
Btw i am imagining all this in my head, not that all these things actually happened. I could do what my friend did which was to totally shut the person out of her life and just remain as "hi and bye" friends (which means you are actually not a friend), block her out of msn and avoid places that you know she will be there.
I was thinking that i might be sub consiously doing all these things. Actually it started off with me trying to find her as i was not not over the relationship myself. Then as time goes by, with my friends making it easier for me to get over it. i started to avoid going to places she goes to, meeting with mutual friends. All these i learn only on hindsight.
Well i think generally life has been good to me still. Although my life is not perfect, i wish i have been attending church more regularly, my current credit card bills are at a "too high" level, while my pay is not. My investments are doing badly... my cherry QQ has been throwing tantrums and cost me a mini fortune to make him happy again.
Through it all, i am just glad that i have friends around me who have shown support whenever they can, keeping me company and most importantly their life sucks just like mine! Rawt Onnnn!!!! The imperfection of life is perfect for living! Most importantly, His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses!

Don't just bitch about it

The typical Singaporean trait that we've all grown to accept are characteristics like Kiasu, Kiasee, kia this and kia that. We bitch about how S'porean drivers don't signal when they change lane, don't give way to others, horn at almost anything that moves (or don't move). We bitch about how S'porean's complain about the government, about raising taxes, bus fares and petrol prices.
Notice that when we say "typical Singaporeans" we mean the other Singaporeans, its never "us". It's the "others".... Wooooo spooky. Who are these others??? Are you Singaporean???
These same Singaporeans that cut your lane, speed up when you are signalling to change lane could be doing the same thing complaining to their friend about the driver who signal for the longest time but didn't change lane, "Kayu driver", they bitched.
"Why do you see the speck of dust in your brother's eye and not the plank in your own eyes?". This was what my secondary school teacher tried to impart to my class more than a decade ago. Weird that i still remember what she said but not how she looked like.
I think its right that we bitched about certain things. The rule is that only bitch about things you are sure you don't commit yourself. If you do the same things and bitch about others you are classified as hypocritical. Its like my last trip to Macau, when "some people" cut my queue and started to shout at others who cut the queues after them. It is as if they have the first right of refusal, first to cut the queues have the first rights and "nope, one cut per queue only". Find your own queue to cut somewhere else.
I am also guilty of bitching and guilty of not giving way to other drivers sometime. When i am told to buy 2 bottle of drinks for a house party, i buy 4 bottles (Kia-su) When i received a parking fine reminder (red colour) i immediately write in to appeal my fine (Kia-see). When i was taken a longer route by the taxi driver and was charge 50 cents more than the usual fare, i refused to pay extra. (Kia- taken advantage of)
The Singapore government should make my Car the official car for Singapore since our neighbour up north has their own car as well. Guess what car i am driving? Make an intelligent guess...

Closet Paris Fan

I just realise that by posting this i am no longer a "closet" Paris Fan. Heck... might as well just come out of the closet and declare to the world that i am. The next time i am going to K Garden in Serangoon Gardens i will sing Stars are blind. Mind you, i can sing in a falsetto pretty well and put many girls to shame. Then again i shouldn't be proud of this at all. As it is, many who don't know me are already wondering if i belong to the clubs along tanjong pagar. Arrghhhh!!! Screw sexual identity!
Back to the Heiress. I think there are many things we can learn from this seemingly dumb blond. For starters, i am beginning to suspect that she leaked her sex tape out on purpose. She is probably sitting in a board room now surrounded by her advisers plotting her next move to bring her to legendary dumb blond status.
She has the drive to succeed no matter what the circumstances. She wasn't the least affected by the sex tape saga and rode on it like an expert sufer and propelled herself from socialite status to international celebrity almost overnight. Everyone was ogling Paris... i mean googling Paris Hilton on the internet for whatever reason they may have... (Think Tammy from some polytechnic, its incredible how the video clip find its way to so many handphones in Singapore)
Paris does not have a voice like Kelly Clarkson but she does have a good tone. She doesn't mind the dumb blond label and rode with it in "reality" shows like the simple life. (Not much of reality in that show if you ask me, no way they will act the way they did without the cameras) She sings and act like her on screen persona, and i doubt that is the real Paris. Smart lass if you ask me. She really does know how to run a business, in this case Paris Hilton Limited. Fragrance line, get out of prison outfit, Paris is as good as it gets when you think Hollywood!
I am adding this to my to do list before i die... Meet Paris in person. I will really like to talk to her and know her as a person. Maybe she will impart some of her business acumens to me and i will be Singapore's next top entrepreneur and market myself worldwide. Think i should dye my hair blond for a start and start living my not so simple life.

What matters most

This week wasn't a great week for me. My mother had to be rush into A & E as she had difficulty breathing. Chronic Bronchitis the doctor diagnose.
it was tuesday morning when my mother started complaining about her difficulty in breathing, I had to take urgent leave to bring her to the clinic where the doctor gave her oxygen and some medication. I had to stay home to make sure she is fine, i just can't leave her home alone. I had to check up on her every 15 minutes just to make sure she was fine. By evening she recovered and had no problem with breathing anymore.
The shock came the next morning when i saw my mother sitting on the couch breathing heavily her face pale like a sheet of paper. Apparently she has already told my dad that she needs to go to the hospital but my Dad was still bathing and doing his morning routine in the morning. WTF!!! I immediately change and took my mother's IC and drove all the way to TTSH A & E. Had to take the road shoulder as the CTE was jam pack! I will buy a siren next time and fix it on top of my car, this way everyone will know its an emergency.
By the time we reached the hospital, she had to be send into the resusitation room to be resusitated! This plump male nurse was reprimanding me for not calling the ambulance to send her to the hospital earlier. I didn't want explain myself as this was the fastest way rather than waiting for an ambulance to come to send her to the hospital. I wondered if i have taken the same attitude as my dad did, would my mother have survived? The only thing i knew to do was to message some of my friends to pray for her. I was at a lost as this was out of my control already...
By the time the doctor update us of her condition, my Dad has just reached the hospital. Thank God it was good news! They managed to resusitate my mother and she only had to stay in the hospital for observation for a few days.
After talking to the doctor, he confirmed it was the smoking that cause her breathing difficulty. You see my friends, the smoking over the 60 years has caused her lungs to be already seriously damaged. Any slight change of weather that caused her to have a small cough will multiply the seriousness ten fold, twenty folds, hundred folds! Chronic bronchitis... there is no cure... you can only stop it from growing any worse.
To all my friends who are smoking, you are young and you don't see the effect of the smoking but just give yourself another 5 years, 10 years, see if it smoking will finally catch up with you? My mother felt that she didn't mind the health damage from smoking but i really want to tell her its not just about the pain she caused herself but its also the pain she cause the rest of the family members to see her suffering like that.
What matters most in life? Getting that pay raise? Getting the satisfaction of advancing in your career? Living and enjoying life to the fullest? Just spend a morning at the hospital's A&E. It may just change some priorities in your life. Suddenly, everything seems so unimportant when you realise you are on the verge of losing an important part of yor life. To me, that would be my mother. I cannot even contemplate in my mind the thought of losing her.
To quit smoking is tough. To see the need to quit is even tougher. Once there is a reason, a need to do so, it will be much easier. To my mother, her reason to quit is probably not to experience that morning again. I hope it is burn deep in her memories.
What really matters, will really matter to you, no excuses and u don't have to give any reasons.

Hk and Macau my second home for now

As i am writing my blog, i am in my room in Langham Place hotel in Mongkok. Due to my new job, i have been travelling to these 2 places very regularly. 2 more visits to HK and i can apply for a Hk frequent visitor card! Mong kok happens to be my favorite place to go when i visit HK. The streets are just so alive!
My view on the 29th floor:

The great thing is about Hk is that even during weekdays the streets are still full of life at 11pm. Don't they have to work the next day?

Taking the MTR can be such a joy as well. Except in the mornig rush hour... but i must commend the fact that they actually employ traffic marshals to ursher the passengers like sheeps to a slaughter into the train.
The pace of Macau is very slow compared to Hk or S'pore. you can sense that the people there is not in any hurry to go anywhere. What do you expect with a population of only half a million.
Well, guess i will be coming back to Singapore this sat 18th August. And the next week i will be back again. Its a good thing i love Hk and Macau. See all friends soon.

The Art of Failing

Nobody likes to fail. Everybody i know strives to do well in life. In their career, family relationships and even getting front row seats at Christina Aguilera's concert. I wil have it! I must have it! i will beg borrow and steal to get it! Well i must add that i am fan but not to that extreme.
My recent failure came in the form of failling my 2.4km run in IPPT. (See how i mentioned that i failed my 2.4km run only but not that i failed my IPPT on a whole. This way i am assured that people know that i pass the rest of the stations. Not everyone takes failure very lightly.)
I have not failed my IPPT ever since i pass out from BMT mind you. It struck me harder than i thought it would. I felt like i was trash and rubbish for having failed my IPPT.
Nevertheless, it was a wake up call. A call to action to regain my fitness. A call to take control of my discipline level. A lesson that should have stuck with me after the rigorous training in OCS. It is strange that i only grown to appreciate such training on hindsight. As much as i don't want to admit it, it did me good. It push my threshold for pain further than i thought i could acheive.
Through the failure of my 2.4km run and only my 2.4 km run, i've come to realised that failing is probably an art. Something that not many will learn to appreciate and appeals to different likings.
It is perhaps an acquired taste that not all connoisseurs would grow to love. It is like Smelly fried bean curd and Paris Hilton's song, something that you know you shouldn't like because it stinks and everybody agrees but deep down you like it.
Not that you want to fail and fail again, but you actually grow to accept it as part of life and move on with the newly acquired lessons learnt.
Failure gives you reason not to fail again. When you fail again it gives you more reason to push yourself further. Many people in life have tasted failure and never wanted to go near failure ever again. That's a total mistake! It should push you further. It should be like cold calling, you are afraid the first time second time and even the third time, but as you do it long enough you become accustomed to it and you actually fail less after that.
Not that i have lots of experience on failing but i am actually learning this fine art of failing in my life now. I will always fail in areas in my life, but the most important thing of all is to learn to fail so that you succeed .

The pursuit of Happyness

What defines Happiness? Who decides who is happy and who is not? Happiness means different things to different people. To a mother, it may be seeing her child grow up strong and healthy. To a Son to see his mother and father enjoying each others compnay even in old age.
The truly weird thing about happiness is the fact that most of us think we know what will make us truly happy, but the fact of the matter is... we don't.
To me, happiness is not earned but rather given. Most of the time it is the smallest and most insignificant things in your life that truly makes you feel that you are living in happiness.
Happiness catches you in the most unexpected way, u could be down and out in your work life or in relationship but when you stop pursuing your definition of happiness and let go just for one second. Suddenly you will start to realise that happiness starts pursuing you. Impossible as it may sound but it happens.
My definition of happiness would be that i will have enough money to allow me to stop working for the rest of my life and pursue what i always want to do that i have no money and no time for. Then you hear stories of people who have achieved that and can't wait to work again simply because their life got too mono and too boring. What gives?
Life is like dancing they say, you take a step forward and you may take one or two steps backwards. Ultimately, you end up where you started.
If there is a conclusion that i want to put to this post is that, be happy and when things don't turn out the way you think they should, don't fret, let go. Let happiness pursue you. Being happy could be sharing a drink or two with good friends and good company at fashion bar :) or even a good movie that makes you laugh and cry at the same time. Savour that moment when it comes but learn to let it go to welcome that next moment.

The Bund

6 days in Shanghai, 3 days of preparations, 3 days of exhibition. Preparations includes sitting in a fancy bar on the 6th floor on the Bund overlooking the night scenery better known as "Ye Shanghai." This is to prepare the mind, give it some rest and you will have less stress.
Sitting there overhearing the many different travellers (Japanese, French, Germans etc.)who had stumbled into the same bar as i had made, wonder about the possibilities of travelling to the many other cities in the world. New York? Paris? Moscow? Tokyo? I'd love to travel more. In fact, i want to!
It is tiring to travel. Long hours in the plane, watching movies after movies, plastic cups of orange juice after orange juice. Especially when you are travelling to work, work will always be at the back of your mind even when you are enjoying your "Xi Li" (Heineken in Chinese) At this part i just got to credit mention Jacintha for handling most of the details of the trip. Without you, this trip would not have been a success. You go girl!
Sitting there overlooking the Whampoa river, reminded me of the Singapore river, somehow... The Singapore river is tiny compared to this one!
Well, if its any consolation, the whampoa we have in Singapore serves much better food then they have in Shanghai. Do not try the Hainanese chicken rice that they serve in the restaurants, i repeat... no i warn thee, DO NOT TRY! It is not even close. It is like they are trying to copy what we have in Singapore and duplicating it in the most horrible way ever. Period.
Piracy is pretty bad in Shanghai, they are selling the Channels and the Yang Siao Lings like nobody's business. They have shops that share similar colours and name like the real brands. Let me quote you an example, they have the brand Crocodile in Shanghai, a few steps down the same road after the authentic Crocodile boutique, you walk past another shop called "Clio codile" Same colour but with a more animated croc. Its pretty ridiculous but hilarious at the same time.
There are many toilets in Shanghai, the best part is the fact that they bothered to build many "toilet buildings" every 5-10 minutes of walking. I would have taken a picture of the toilet if it weren't for the fact that i was too worried that i would be mistaken as a voyeur if i stood too close to take a picture outside the toilet. Instead i took a picture of the map!
There were things during the trip that reminded me of my shortcomings. It is a resurfacing rther than new lessons. Guess i never really learnt my lessons well. All in all, Shanghai has been alright.

Top Ten Favourite things to do

10. Laze around at home without a care in the world.
9. Spending time with Michelle in Singapore. (Too many paparazzis in Hk.)
8. Singing duet with Faye. (Her Hubby doesn't like it though)
7. Spending time at Central Perk bitching about Rachel and Ross with Joey.
6. Flying around in John's plane. Not forgetting about enjoying Kelly's cooking as well.
5. Partying with Paris and gang. (Might have to find new party frens since she is going into the slammer)
4. Helping Angie to adopt her next child. (Brad doesn't really like the idea of another one.)
3. Playing sunday football with Stevie and Jamie when they don't have matches.
2. Spending my saturday evening lost in translation with Scarlett and winning precious Match points playing tennis with her.
1. Sitting infront of my lap top in a delusional state and coming up with fantasy top ten list.

My Comfort of letting go

It's been five years since my first job, a sales job. Not knowing what was in store for me, i took up the challenge of a sales job. It was one of the best thing that happened in my life!
Ever since then, i have been selling and accumulating experience in this field. Why a sales job, you may ask? It gives you the freedom, you are not desk bound, you earn more than a regular 9-5 job, its the best job in the world :)
I take pride in the fact that i am not just selling to my clients. Not just achieving a number or a value on my score card, i take pride in knowing my clients and converting many of them into friends in the course of a working relationship. That has become a motivation for me and a reason for me to work.
I value all the relationships that were built with clients and colleagues alike. This is the main reason why it's painful to leave where i am now. I have to learn to let go or i will never know the best of my abilities. I have to stretch myself and take comfort in losing the shoreline.
I think the sales team we have now is fantastic, a few tweaking here and there and in no time all the publications will be no.1 in Singapore.
I believe tweaking should include the new "shareholder" commission scheme that was introduced not too long ago. As its name suggest, this new scheme will benefit the shareholder's interest as company profit will increase. My advice, start investing in our company's stock!
In a nutshell, this new scheme doesn't make any bloody sense to me, all the sales people are forced to go at each other's throat to meet their individual target.
I suggest that we set up a boxing ring in front of Alice's office, any conflict of interest between sales colleagues will be settled by good old fashion cat/dog fights, bitting and scratching allowed. Kicking in the nuts is also allowed, but it can only be done to 2 limited number of person now that i am gone.
Fiona Ong can be the empire while Yan Ling can ring the bell. Commentary will be provided by the B & P team, Gin, Nic and Vick can take turns (i foresee many disputes that needs to be settled) We will leave VIP front row seats for CEO, COO and MD. Wait... we can sell tickets as well! That way the ticket sales can be split among the sales team since commissions are not forthcoming. One stone, two bloody birds! Am i a genius or what?
Disclaimer: The above does not represent the writer's actual views and beliefs. The writer absolutely loves and simply adores the way the whole company sets its policies. The above could be written in unexplained madness or the writer could be in a state of perpetual disillusion that by writing the above, he can change the minds of bureaucrats.
*Fellow colleagues please don't dua me and show this to Ceo or MD hoh? Don't send any links to anyone, top secret!

The ability of inability

Ever wondered why the life that others live always seem better? Everyone else seem to have direction and goals in life except you? Their life seems so fulfilling, so many things to do, so little time. They've got it made!
What do people do in their spare time anyway. Then again, everyone tells me how busy they are and have no time to spare.
You rarely hear people say that they are not busy. It makes sense actually, nobody wants people to know that they have lots of time on their hands. You make sure that you mess up your desk and make it look bloody messy. Better to be known as disorganize than to be known as a do nothing. (a.k.a zho bo)
In this day and age, nobody is ever free. Nobody ever has time.
Time is short, days are getting shorter, by the minutes, by the seconds. One fine day, we will wake up and realise that there is no longer any sense of destiny in our lives anymore.
We are no longer born for greatness, the childlikeness in us that believes that we were born for a divine purpose slowly fades away and you are left with a sense of inability. You are face with this new ability of inability. You have woken up to all your inadequacies, you have fallen short, what do you do next? Resign to mediocrity? Or do you hold on to your beliefs?
Probe further and you will be faced with more questions than answers. I am going down this path right now.
I believe that each one of us has a destiny to make a difference in the lives of the people around us. Our thoughts and actions influences the people we are in contact with. You are as great as you can be to the person next to you, to the people who knows you.
I want to embrace my inabilities. I want to know that no one is without inadequacies or insecurities. In simple terms, i want to be as human as i can be.
Please forgive my humanity. I will do wrong and i will continue to do so. And i will always need forgiveness. So forgive me for i know not what i do. I know not what i ask for.

Can someone pass me a microphone?

If i have a choice between singing for a living or doing what i am doing now, i would sing, damn i would sing. I know that i am not much of a performer to begin with but i can hold a tune pretty confidently and pretty well.
Well the next question is why not? I mean, i love singing, i wouldn't miss a K session if my friends invite. Let me give you some scenarios:
1.Choice between mahjong session or K session? I will choose K!
2.Choice between late night supper or late night k session? k session! (Friends please org more k session so i will have less suppers please... arrrggghhh!!! I will now type faster to loose some fats around my fingers...)
3. Choice between a date with someone i fancy or K session? I will choose going to k session with date :) sigh...If only life is so simple
I wouldn't exactly say i am passionate about singing but i like singing. Its like how i started singing in Church and i don't mind serving sundays after sundays as long as i sing every week.
I think in reality, you can hardly earn a decent living as a singer alone. I am not talking about the famous ones. I am talking your pub singers, seventh month chopstick sisters or fork and spoon brothers or what have you. It can be an after 6 job but not really full time i would think.
So I guess meanwhile i will have to stick with singing your song on the roof top, giving you the most precious a red rose and maybe even singing a sad fairy tale song while playing the piano. (Only veteran K singers need understand the above mentioned)
My vocal cords are getting itchy, very itchy.... that explains why i have been breaking into songs in the office lately. I will suggest to Serene tomorrow about installing a sound system in the office. Every table will have a micophone and a small screen. Everyone will have their chance to sing after dedicating their songs. (Fiona Ong will collect the slips of paper from every table)
After every song The small screen will indicate the next singer and table, "Next song: Table beside Fion at kowloon." (Our working areas are named after streets in Hk)
That way, Annie can sing her songs and dance to it at the same time! I must add that she can dance pretty well.
Then i can have my chance to sing without all the complains from my neighbouring colleagues.
" Uh...Don't touch my mic, its my personal one, thanks."