New lease of blog

Just transferred all my postings from my friendster blog over to blogspot. Think this will be a better place to host my blogs from now on. Hopefully this will also mark a new beginning in my life as well. Makes me feel like an Indian though, since Deepavali is just tomorrow, Isn't Deepavali kindof like New Year for Indians. (Lunar new yr for chinese, Hari Raya for Muslims? Duh!) New Year new beginning?!?!

So many things has been happening that makes me feel like my life is spiralling out of control. My family, my work, my personal life. My decision to stay put in Singapore and not move to Macau has many implications which i shall not go into details in such a public blog. My Mother's health is one of the factor that made up my mind.

I have spoken to many close friends about my situation and why i have come to such a decision. The thing about sharing and asking for opinions is that everyone has their own point of view and different experiences that makes them come to their own conclusion. What you have to do is to flilter such "advices" and extract the crux of it and come to your own conclusion. Most important of all, make a decision.

To come to a decision you will need to visualise the end result in your mind (ala 7 habits of highly effective people) Once you know you can live with the result, balancing all the pros and cons, risk and rewards, put your foot down and say, i have decided and this is what i want to do. Mind you, this will not be easy to do, that is being unwaivering in your decision. Many people will start telling you their point of views and why you shouldn't do this and why shouldn't do that. At one point i was very sure that i was going to Macau for at least 1 year. Look at me now, i am very sure that i am not moving to Macau, but this time i have very substantial reasons why i am not moving there.

I never knew myself as much as i have in the past year. All the experiences i have garnered was all worth the sacrifices and shit i went through. I realise what i can do and what i cannot do. I realise what i can excel in and what i can do just averagely. I understand what is most important to me versus what is just good for me. My weaknesses versus my strengths. My confidence versus the lack of self esteem. How i view myself and how others view me. This wilderness experience has taken me walking round and round for too long. I have been in the wilderness for more than 10 years now. God, isn't it time to move into the promise land?!?

"'I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!'"