Thursday 25 March 2010

Last post

Dear all who are interested to read my blog i have moved on to a new blog to mark my new beginnings. Follow the address and viola! Here u go: http://iamaq.wordpress.com/

See ya around!

Monday 8 March 2010

First post of 2010

This being the first post of 2010 in March... will really like to sum up 2009 and gve a sense of direction in my life for 2010.

2009 seem to a mile stone year for many of my friends; Marriages, child bearing, career changes you get the picture. For me these milestones in my friend's life has also become a milestone for me. when i look back for the past years of my life i feel that i really have nothing to show for in terms of success. I will like to focus on what i have done right in 2009, because i am sick and tired for apologizing for my mistakes that i have made in terms of relationships and career. I am sorry for certain decisions that i have made but i think it is time to move on and make the right ones now. It is time to take responsibility and trust in The God who came to give me life and life more abundantly!

I know for a fact that my decision to work in the casino may have a huge impact in my life moving forward. Shift work will limit my time on Sundays in church. The stigma that goes with working in a casino will also limit the ministries that i can serve in church in the future. Truth be told, i am even having second thoughts about working in the IR as a dealer now.

It will be so much easier for me to take a regular job that pays better then to subject myself to the uncertainty and the waiting game before my dealer training starts. While all this while i am draining my savings. I am even afraid to go out too often so that i can keep my expenses low.

All the factors seem to be unfavorable for me to move on with my decision as a dealer in the casino. However, when i look back on the excitement i felt when i made the decision last year to make the career switch, how i look back in my life and see how my interests and inclinations were shaped so perfectly to the industry that i am joining. I cannot help but believe that God has placed me where i needed to be, my exposure to Macao, my love for poker, my stint in the financial and media industry has managed to shape my interests and desire to want to work where i will be working.

I live to entertain! I live to please! Despite my eccentricities i have a God given gift to engage and entertain. I have a dream to entertain, to sing in show biz but i am not one to spend the necessary 10,000 hrs of hard work to be the best at what i do. God knows me better than i can ever know myself. I believe He leads and guides me the best that i can be led and guided to where i am today. I believe this is where He wants me to be. I have no concrete vision of what it is going to be and what plans He has for me in my long life ahead but something tells me that it is not going to be about me but about Him. It is going to be great!

I may not be the best person to speak to about knowing Christ, to share with you the love of Christ and what He has done for you on the cross. But i will love for you to see the grace of God in my life, and how a wretched man i am to deserve such undeserved favour from God. Due to my personality i believe I am able to share to people whom may not have been reached otherwise.

The joke is that many of friends don't even believe that i am a christian. i see that as a good thing in certain sense. Many people has come to believe that church are for the nice people, the good people. This is the image of the modern church, white church buildings, beautiful people in their Sunday best, upper or middle social class.

If you want to come to church, no tongue ring, tattoos, wildly colored hair. Oh your girlfriend is non christian? i am sorry you have to break up with her if you want to continue to come to church. You have an altar at home? Idolatry!!! You have to use a sledgehammer and break down the stronghold!!!!

I guess the reason why people are opened to me is because i do not judge. I am also as flawed as i can be and i make no excuses about being who i am. I make mistakes and do wrong things all the time and i want to make it right. But meanwhile i accept who i am and i will accept you as who you are no matter what wrong you have done as long as you know you have done wrong. This is who i am.

Back to what was right in 2009. It was right because of friends who supported me even when i was wrong. It was right because of a loving God who loves me despite of all my shortcomings. It was right because of a mother who stood by her son no matter how bad things look. It was right because i knew i was wrong and want to make things right.

Here's to a great 2010!