Daniel Negreanu's blog entry

A blog entry from one of my favourite poker player. Playing poker is similar to investing in the stock market or even starting a business. I look at my hole cards and decide how much to invest. I need to know the business climate and economic outlook before i invest (what players are u playing against and your position, early middle or late position)

Without God I'm Useless
16 Jan 2007

I'm a mess. In every sense of the word my mind is not in a good place right now. I started 07' on a high, fresh, and looking to dominate the poker world with a steady diet of working out and playing my best in the tournaments.Bahamas went great. I stuck to my regimen of poker and exercise, totally focused on doing my best at the tables. Then I came to Australia, looking forward to the Aussie Millions and I put in a pitiful performance in everything that I did. I was groggy at all times, abandoned my workouts, and played some of the worst poker I could play.How did this all happen? I was so focused on being a lion all year long, and within the first month I was already an absolute joke.

Sure, I could have won the hands I played for all my chips, but even if I did, it wouldn't have been a good thing since my decisions were just wrong.So how does God play into this? God plays into it in a big way, at least for me anyway. With all of the resolutions I'd set for myself in 07', not one of them mentioned having a deeper relationship with God in my life. I mentioned video games, working out, and all sorts of things, but there wasn't one mention of what is truly important to me and my well being.Too focused on "me" and less focused on the fact that without God, I am nothing.

Without a close, personal relationship with God, happiness would be impossible.I'll be honest with you- this month I've been on an emotional roller coaster. At one point I was super excited about working out on a regular basis, but since being in Australia, one of the most beautiful places in the world, I've been pretty depressed.Not only because of my poor decisions, but also because I'm here without my wife. I miss her, I really do.

Before this trip we'd really gotten so much closer and I became so comfortable with her around. I don't think I'll ever be away from her for this long again. In fact, I'm going home. I'm going home tomorrow. Unfortunately, Lori won't be there for the couple days I'm home before Tunica, but I just need to recharge my batteries nonetheless.

Tonight I went out with "the guys." It was a lot of fun and the conversation was very interesting.

We ended up talking about God for much of the evening, and despite the fact that several of my friends were non-believers, the conversation was so refreshing since they never mocked me for my beliefs, and we had an open, religious dialogue without it ever turning nasty. It was awesome. Perry Friedman, a guy who I've always respected but never really had a chance to know personally, blew me away.

His views of God weren't entirely in line with mine, but he treated me with the utmost respect despite the fact that we disagreed on a few things. I'm so thankful for his open mindedness and his willingness to talk to me about such a touchy subject.Anyway, about that touchy subject. This blog isn't intended to be a religious blog.

This blog isn't intended to "convert" anybody into becoming a believer. This blog, is an opportunity for me to share with you all what is going on with my life. On that note, I have to say that I've been lonely, and it's not just a case of missing my home, my wife, and my little dog Mushu. I feel like in many ways that my personal relationship with God has faded and it kills me to admit that. This affects my poker mind, but frankly, I could care less about any of that. I'm more concerned with the person I've become recently, and I don't like that guy one bit. I'm often irritated, jealous, venomous, spiteful, arrogant, mean, insecure, and all around unhappy.

Trying to fill those gaps with things like "working out" just don't last. It's a great step, don't get me wrong, but without a close relationship with God in my life, I don't LIVE. I die slowly, I hate, I complain, I'm sick... I hurt. Most of you, despite the fact that you may feel like you "know me," really don't know what it's like to live my life. I'm NOT complaining, my life is great and I have all kinds of opportunities, but sometimes, too much of a good thing can be harmful. Vanity is the deadliest sin in so many ways, but especially because it sneaks up on you without you even realizing it.

It's the sin I'm most conscious of, most afraid of, but it's still a constant battle despite knowing that it's there.I hate to think that this blog is coming off like a, "poor me" blog. I've always tried to let people in, and it's always made me feel better. At the same time, there is a price to pay for always putting on a smiley face, even when you don't feel like smiling at all. The people here in Australian are so nice, they've treated me exceptionally well... but I want nothing to do with it right now. I feel safer tucked away in my room, sweating the hockey games, and the tennis.

Anyway, it's getting pretty late here in Melbourne and I have a flight to catch. I'm seriously not even sure if I'm going to press send on this blog, because a lot of it is pretty revealing, and some may even find it preachy despite the fact that I've tried to be as "unpreachy" as possible.God is important to me. My life is better when I make God the center of it. When I don't, regardless of any tournament success or accolades, I just can't be happy unless I feel like I'm at a good place with God.In closing, I don't plan on turning this blog into a religious soap box, but this is MY blog and this is what I think about. I try my best to play it safe, not jamming God down people's throats, but at the same time, I'm not about to hide the fact that I believe.Here's to an awesome 2007, hoping that we all get our resolutions and priorities in order.

Perpetually tired

Recently, i found myself needing alot of rest. I seem tired the whole day and just can't seem to perk myself up and function properly. Of course the first thing i should really do is to sleep early.

The fact is i can't... 2 am is the earliest i can try to sleep. Other than that i need to be on the internet doing something. Most probably on Facebook playing Texas holdem. I decided to give up on that as well. It is really quite meaningless chasing after that next ranking. Can you imagine the number of hours that is poured into daily when i can actually do something else with the time.

We need a FBTHA, Face book texas holdem annoymous group for support to quit this madness. The best thing about this is the fact that i am not the only one. Everytime i log on, i will see the familliar group of ppl on different table. Be it a point game or tournament. The satisfaction you get in winning the tournament is incredible! You know who u are...

We have also offcially move 1 rung up the ladder of poker... we are going to start playing live games! This way we can truly mold ourselves to be better poker players. I don't know about the others but i do have an objective in mind to all these hours invested in poker. I have only shared this with a few people but coming 2011, i will want to participate in the WSOP 2011. If possible i want to participate in the main event. Be it for the pride of Singapore or for the experience i think it is worth the 10k buy in. I have not truly come across a professional singaporean player yet. I will love to be a poker player who puts Singapore on the Poker map if i can.

Imagine, me playing on the final table of the WSOP main event. Daniel Negreneu sitting on my left, doyle brunson across me with his son Todd beside him as well. Daniel push all in, Toby maguire folded to me and i call Daniel's all in with pocket AA vs Daniels pocket QQ. The flop came 267 rainbow, the turn came a Q and Daniel jumps for joy and went delirious until the dealer turns over an A on the river and i send Daniel home packing. wowwww.... the ups and downs of poker are not for the weak.

The whole point of this post? I need sleep and i should stop playing poker non stop for hours at night... maybe only 2 hours.

Why we love Poker and poker Lesson 1

I started playing Poker after watching a few movies with a little poker in it. Texas holdem to be specific and not the typical showhand pokers you see in Stephen Chow's movies.

One of the movie was James Bond with Daniel Craig as 007 and the other... i can't really remember. There are many lessons you can draw from playing poker, i think everyone should play this game if not at least draw lessons from it. I am no Poker Pro but just want to share my experience after playing online poker for about a year now.

The poker game has evolved over the years and attracted many interest all around the world especially with the huge interest in the World Series of Poker (WSOP) after Chris Moneymaker an amateur won the WSOP in 2003. Everyone called it the Moneymaker effect. Chris a former accountant who earns $40k a year won 2.5 million in cold hard cash in the WSOP. It was every grown up poor man's wet dream... to put it crudely. Moneymaker delve into poker after watching Rounders, starring Matt Damon. If anyone of you is interested in Poker, you should watch it, it should at least stir some interest to play.

After the moneymaker effect, the participation in WSOP skyrocketed. Prize money for the main event in 2006 was an obscene amount of more than 12 million dollars! Jamie Gold won it that year. It was the highest ever prize money in the history of WSOP. Without further bantering, here is lesson 1.

No 1 Lesson: Read your opponents

The ability to read and understand your opponent is very important in poker. To be able to read your opponents allows you to know what hole cards they are holding. Daniel Negreanu is one of the few i seen who is able to read his opponents card so well that it sometimes it's as if he has x ray vision.

There are a few ways to do to read your opponents. One way is to look for tells. Certain action that your opponent do when he is bluffing or has a good hand i.e talk alot or start looking away from the table.

Another way is betting pattern, some players like to raise pre flop when they are bluffing and slow play when they have big hands. The way they raise, check-raise, on the turn, on the river etc.

Sometimes its just experience that allows you to read your opponent. I am sure legends like Doyle Brunson don't even have to actively think about what to do anymore. It is all automated in his mind.

Application in life:

Interaction with friends, family and even strangers or aquaintance are part and parcel of life. The ability to understand and "read" your friends intention without them telling you straight in the face is an asset. The ability to size up someone you meet for the very first time is invaluable. From their body language, the way they speak, the questions they ask. It is sometimes enough to tell you more than what can be miscommunicated through words.

This ability will make you more than a million bucks if you are in sales or in business. The ability to to size up a prospect, and learning to speak his/her language in the first 5 minutes of interaction will help tremendously in closing the deal.

The way the prospect's eye drift towards when thinking can tell you if he is an audio or visual person. The speed of his speech can tell you if he is deliberate in his thoughts or doesn't care much for details. His sitting posture can tell you if he is wasting your time or interested.

This invaluable skill can be horned with experience with your daily dealing with people and playing Poker! So start playing poker right now. There are hundreds of free site on the internet offering free poker. The easiest way is to play on facebook. That way you can play and learn the game and lose zero money. Poker in its purest form is cash games. Only this way will you learn the game properly and seriously. Even Tournaments are not its purest form. We will talk about tournament plays in another entry. I will only say one last thing:

"Let's Shuffle up and Deal!!!"

You will never walk alone

Was listening to Sarah Mclachlan's surfacing album again for the past 2 days. Every song is good. This is by far one of the best album i own. Especially like "Do what you have to do" and "Angel". Been in quite a melancholic mood lately, could be the weather, could be the haze. Could be chocolates i had yesterday during the photoshoot. I seriously don't care.

I thought the lyrics for Angel suits my mood these past few days.

"Spend all your time waiting For that second chance.

For a break that would make it okay

There's always some reason To feel not good enough.

And it's hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction Or a beautiful release

Memories seep from my veins And may be empty Oh and weightless and maybe

I'll find some peace tonight "

The surfacing of my flaws, my strengths and what is within me. Recently, i try to hold every thought that goes through my mind. Analysing them, why do i feel the way i feel. Why do i perceive certain things in certain light. You will be surprise how your mind tries to deceive you in certain ways sometimes.

"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"

Sometimes knowing what you want to do is not enough. It's the decision to want it, to do it that is paramount to the success of it.

Long time ago, a certain man caught the "Gold rush" fever in the west. He manage to find a Gold site and decided to spent his whole fortune buying the mining machine and paying miners to work for him to dig up all the gold. He thought to himself, this time i got it! Unfortunately, just after a few weeks of digging, the mine went dry. They didn't give up, and continued digging. After several weeks more of digging they still couldn't find the Gold Vein. The man decided to give up and cut his losses. He sold his machine to a man at the scrape yard and went his way. The man at the scrape yard thought to himself, since he has the machine he might as well give it a shot at digging up the gold.

He sought the help of professional surveyors to survey the mining site again. They discovered that the Gold vein was just 3 feet away from where they stopped digging! If only they have dug just 3 feet deeper... Of course the man went his way to start digging and dug his fortune out of the ground. Moral of the story? Do not give up easily, your Gold could be just 3 feet deeper. Also, seek professional help if needed. No man is an island, team effort yields greater and faster results.

The story doesn't end. Having found out about the good fortune of the man at the scrap yard. The man was even more determine to make his fortunes. Drawing strength from the last failure. He joined an insurance company selling insurance. Everytime a prospect says no to him, he remembered the Gold vein which was 3 feet away from where he stopped digging. Of all the cases he closed, more than 80% of the prospect initially said no to him. He sold million dollar polices and made it look easy. And he made his millions as well.

Moral of the story? You can fail as many times in life, but draw the painful lessons learnt and let it drive you on in life. Whatever you do in life.

It doesn't have to financially. Even in relationships. Work on it, don't just give up on it. Especially married couples. Trying to pick up a musical instrument? Don't give up on it after your fingers start feeling the pain from pressing the guitar strings.

There's always a reason to feel not good enough. But let it not stop you. Never let yourself tell you you are not good enough or inadequate. What is the worst that can happen if you fail?

This blog is meant for myself. Even as i type out every word. These are exactly what i am telling myself to do.

"Walk on, through the wind, Walk on, through the rain, Though your dreams be tossed and blown. Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart,

And you'll never walk alone,You'll never walk alone. "

Waiting time versus wasting time

I need to learn patience. I am someone who doesn't like to wait. Case in point, lunch time, good food means crowded. Not so good food, food served in less than 5 minutes. I will rather eat at the not so nice stall then choose the crowded bloody good food stall.

I think the year 2008 will be a very good year. It seems that God is teaching me many valuable lessons. About my finances, my career, my patience and more importantly not taking the people around me for granted.

I have been truly blessed with many good friends who cares for me. Recently i just heard from a friend that some of my ex colleagues were even asking about me if i were okay. Probably due to some of the facebook shout outs that i have been postings. It seems that my whole life i have been a pendulum. Swinging from one extreme to the other. I think i better stop swinging b4 i hit the big 3...

I am truly learning to wait, waiting on Him to show me more. I want to do more with my life, i ain't going to waste it staying in my comfort zone and waiting for my life to pass me by. God, don't let that happen to me.

A former manager from my work place years ago told me, if the cow doesn't want to drink there is no way you can force him to do so. I don't want to be that cow. Make me lie down in green pastures and lead me beside still waters, i am willing... i am willing.

Rahver unveiled

Rahver, 28 years old, young, good looking, driven and drives a red car. If you are wondering if I am Rahver, i am not... Rahver is a fiction of someone's imagination.

Rahver is the imagination of a 7 year old girl (Freya is 7 right?) She has an imaginary boyfriend age 28 and drives a red car. I wonder if Rahver ever does grow old. Is he always 28? If he is, i will not qualify to be Rahver this year in April. I will be 29....

I can only imagine what kind of family background Rahver came from....

Rahver must be Australian, since Freya is living there. Since he is 28 years old and dating a 7 year old kid. I assume he must have had a really bad relationship previously.

I am guessing the previous girlfriend totally hurt him. Spat on him and step all over him with her stillettos. He was not only hurt emotionally by Miss Ex. but also physically abused. That explains why he wants to date someone who is of smaller built.

Rahver tries very hard... after the break up with Miss Ex. He wants to prove that he has the ability to move on and live a better life without her. He wanted to get a flashy red sports car but could only afford an old second hand car.





Okay, so Rahver looks like a kid. That also explains why Miss Ex. could easily step all over him and spit on him. So i wish Rahver and Freya the best in the future, apparently, age is not an issue to these 2 love birds. Probably they can marry each other when Freya is 18. Rahver will be 39 and look like a kid.

How far can you slide

Call me a sadist. But its comforting to know that i am not the only one struggling with my spirituality. I have been a christian for 15 years now, i believe that there is no such thing as an on and off christian. Either you are or you are not. And if you are, God will always be in your life. Like it or not. I choose to like it.

It is liken to the fact that your parents will always be your parents, you are related by blood and that can never change. (Through Jesus' blood) And because you are related, your destiny will be very different fron the rest of the world who have never experience God before.

Your life will be shaped very differently. If you pay attention to what is happening around you, you will notice that there seemed to be someone bigger controlling your everyday situation be it your family life or your work life. In a very good way of course. But mind you not always in a way you think its good. Those who have truly experience God as a person and not as a religion will understand where i am coming from.

I have experience God in that way, but that didn't stop me from going out of my way to prove that there is a path beyond God. Subconsciously, i wanted to slide. I wanted to be someone i am not and then i succeeded. I became that person that i thought i was. Its wierd that the slide is so gradual that when you realise that you are at the bottom you just accept the fact that you are a backslidden christian. You admit and you don't hide it. In fact, you live with it.

I constantly struggle with my beliefs. To hold on to it or not. To give up or not. There are many things in my life that i have given up on. Battles i have quitted even before it was fought. But this is one battle i will not stop fighting. As much as i struggle, as much as i am torn apart within me. I will not give up without a fight. I will hold on, and i will not deny Him.

There are many wrong decisons that i have made in my life. Decisions that i know will always be regretted. But i know that the one decison that i made 15 years ago made all my wrong decisons right. All my bad decisons good. He right my wrong and made good my bad.

Folks, Its all about Him, its all about Jesus. Never for a moment think that its about you. The beauty of this is this, When its all about Him, It is actually all about you. There is no denying Him of His love for you.

I will not be perfect in my ways, but He will be Perfect in me. How far can you slide? You will be surprise to know that no matter how far you have slidden, He is still right beside you.