How far can you slide

Call me a sadist. But its comforting to know that i am not the only one struggling with my spirituality. I have been a christian for 15 years now, i believe that there is no such thing as an on and off christian. Either you are or you are not. And if you are, God will always be in your life. Like it or not. I choose to like it.

It is liken to the fact that your parents will always be your parents, you are related by blood and that can never change. (Through Jesus' blood) And because you are related, your destiny will be very different fron the rest of the world who have never experience God before.

Your life will be shaped very differently. If you pay attention to what is happening around you, you will notice that there seemed to be someone bigger controlling your everyday situation be it your family life or your work life. In a very good way of course. But mind you not always in a way you think its good. Those who have truly experience God as a person and not as a religion will understand where i am coming from.

I have experience God in that way, but that didn't stop me from going out of my way to prove that there is a path beyond God. Subconsciously, i wanted to slide. I wanted to be someone i am not and then i succeeded. I became that person that i thought i was. Its wierd that the slide is so gradual that when you realise that you are at the bottom you just accept the fact that you are a backslidden christian. You admit and you don't hide it. In fact, you live with it.

I constantly struggle with my beliefs. To hold on to it or not. To give up or not. There are many things in my life that i have given up on. Battles i have quitted even before it was fought. But this is one battle i will not stop fighting. As much as i struggle, as much as i am torn apart within me. I will not give up without a fight. I will hold on, and i will not deny Him.

There are many wrong decisons that i have made in my life. Decisions that i know will always be regretted. But i know that the one decison that i made 15 years ago made all my wrong decisons right. All my bad decisons good. He right my wrong and made good my bad.

Folks, Its all about Him, its all about Jesus. Never for a moment think that its about you. The beauty of this is this, When its all about Him, It is actually all about you. There is no denying Him of His love for you.

I will not be perfect in my ways, but He will be Perfect in me. How far can you slide? You will be surprise to know that no matter how far you have slidden, He is still right beside you.