Was listening to Sarah Mclachlan's surfacing album again for the past 2 days. Every song is good. This is by far one of the best album i own. Especially like "Do what you have to do" and "Angel". Been in quite a melancholic mood lately, could be the weather, could be the haze. Could be chocolates i had yesterday during the photoshoot. I seriously don't care.
I thought the lyrics for Angel suits my mood these past few days.
"Spend all your time waiting For that second chance.
For a break that would make it okay
There's always some reason To feel not good enough.
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction Or a beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins And may be empty Oh and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight "
The surfacing of my flaws, my strengths and what is within me. Recently, i try to hold every thought that goes through my mind. Analysing them, why do i feel the way i feel. Why do i perceive certain things in certain light. You will be surprise how your mind tries to deceive you in certain ways sometimes.
"The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"
Sometimes knowing what you want to do is not enough. It's the decision to want it, to do it that is paramount to the success of it.
Long time ago, a certain man caught the "Gold rush" fever in the west. He manage to find a Gold site and decided to spent his whole fortune buying the mining machine and paying miners to work for him to dig up all the gold. He thought to himself, this time i got it! Unfortunately, just after a few weeks of digging, the mine went dry. They didn't give up, and continued digging. After several weeks more of digging they still couldn't find the Gold Vein. The man decided to give up and cut his losses. He sold his machine to a man at the scrape yard and went his way. The man at the scrape yard thought to himself, since he has the machine he might as well give it a shot at digging up the gold.
He sought the help of professional surveyors to survey the mining site again. They discovered that the Gold vein was just 3 feet away from where they stopped digging! If only they have dug just 3 feet deeper... Of course the man went his way to start digging and dug his fortune out of the ground. Moral of the story? Do not give up easily, your Gold could be just 3 feet deeper. Also, seek professional help if needed. No man is an island, team effort yields greater and faster results.
The story doesn't end. Having found out about the good fortune of the man at the scrap yard. The man was even more determine to make his fortunes. Drawing strength from the last failure. He joined an insurance company selling insurance. Everytime a prospect says no to him, he remembered the Gold vein which was 3 feet away from where he stopped digging. Of all the cases he closed, more than 80% of the prospect initially said no to him. He sold million dollar polices and made it look easy. And he made his millions as well.
Moral of the story? You can fail as many times in life, but draw the painful lessons learnt and let it drive you on in life. Whatever you do in life.
It doesn't have to financially. Even in relationships. Work on it, don't just give up on it. Especially married couples. Trying to pick up a musical instrument? Don't give up on it after your fingers start feeling the pain from pressing the guitar strings.
There's always a reason to feel not good enough. But let it not stop you. Never let yourself tell you you are not good enough or inadequate. What is the worst that can happen if you fail?
This blog is meant for myself. Even as i type out every word. These are exactly what i am telling myself to do.
"Walk on, through the wind, Walk on, through the rain, Though your dreams be tossed and blown. Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone,You'll never walk alone. "
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