How bad do you really want it?

The greatest failure in life is not to fail but rather, being afraid to take the chances and fear failure. Everyone is unique and has their very own God given potential and talent. Most of us go to work everyday, do our job and go home to our family in the evening.

There will come a time when suddenly you will be seized by an urge to want to break out of your norm, the everyday life , the mediocrity that plagues all of us who are not willing to stretch ourselves further.

It is not enough to just have this urge, this urge has to tie in with your God given purpose in life, because out of purpose comes passion. This purpose and passion will then consume you and propel you. Day and night your mind has only this in mind, this is all you think about, this is all you feed upon. When you experience this, you know that your success is inevitable.

Because in the famous words of Napoleon Hill, "Whatever your mind can conceive and believe, It will achieve." I will like to add to that, "Whatever God conceives and place it upon your heart, take hold of it and believe that with God all things are possible, and it will surely come to pass."

Law of attraction at work, coupled with God's ways and blessing, it is multiplied exponentially! We are the children of the King of Kings, can you even imagine the inheritance we are entitled to? God is moulding us and teaching us to be able to handle his riches, not just financially but riches in every aspect of your lives. All we have to do is believe it and live it!

Vineyard - Many grapes make a bunch

To all my new colleagues at Vineyard. You have made my first 4 months a wonderful experience. There are so many different teams within the branch but i choose to celebrate the diversity. It makes my life so much more interesting than ever.

Firstly my thanks to MM and TM, my 2 bosses. MM, to your insights and long term vision that make svineyard what it will be tomorrow. To TM, for your coaching and mentoring and ideas that make vineyard what it is today.

To AQ, my manager, who is so willing to guide me patiently even though she doesn't have to.

To XL and his interesting team of advisers that never fails to brightened up my day.

To BY and his group as well for their drive and passion for the business.

The things i have learnt for the past 4 months has been invaluable and i will continue to drive on to qualify for CRT next year.

And of course thanks to God for placing me where i am now, i am beginning to see the vision that was given to me so many years ago. I will be on that stage!

The man in the mirror

One of the things that you do every morning, will be starring yourself in the mirror. If the image happens to say that you are ugly, you are ugly. Well, not exactly, imaging plays an inportant part in our lives. Self image, self belief. Your social image can be very different from your real image. How other sees you can also be different from how you see yourself.

Your perception of yourself will determined how you behave. I suffer from a very poor self image. That leads to a confidence issue. It manifest in my life. Many things that i start to do, i do not complete it, simply because i do not have the confidence to make it work or finish it. Sad but true. After living almost half my life, i realise that i have a serious problem of the perception of my identity.

I have beliefs like "I don't deserve good things in my life, or I am not good enough to derserve someone who loves me." I think all this can resolve only by having a strong identity in Christ. Knowing that who i am is not as important as who He is. And when that happens i will grow into the identity of Jesus.

Therefore its is no longer i that live but Christ that live in me.

Its human nature to remember the bad but forget the good

After blogging my last entry, i received many concern smses and even people i didn't know who encouraged me to hanged on. I know i need to reply or people who cares enough about me will be left wondering what is happening in my life.

I am not sick physically neither am i suicidal. Mentally i am weak from the changes that are happening in my life. I have forgotten all the good things i have in my life and focused on all things bad. I looked back at my life on realised that i have changed. Definitely not for the better.

One thing that i cannot accept is the fact that my spiritual life is topsy turvy. How far i have drifted from God although i know how much i need Him. That is why knowledge is not power... application is. You may know many things but if you don't live it and apply it, it is as good as you don't have it

There is nothing wrong with my life, i think i am more fortunate than the majority of the population of the world. I am perhaps sadden that there is so much more i can achieve in my life but due to one reason or another i have not managed to achieve. Many people at my age are facing similar things as well but they do respond differently.

I figured that when you are faced with challenges in your life, there are a few things you can choose to do.

1. Leave it and ignore it. Don't face it

2. Face it head on and struggle as much as you as needed to conquer it.

3. Face it with God, friends and family. Struggle with the knowledge that you are not alone and they understand how you feel and still love you no matter what you achieve or cannot achieve.

I am truly blessed with many friends who care. Family members who understands. A God who against all odds choose to love me and bless me.

Its all that i need to know... for now.

Its officially over

My life officially ended today. It's worst than a physical death. It's death in its purest sense. My emotions are dead, my spirit is dying... It is sad to have all these truth in my head but i don't choose to believe them. I am a walking living corpse, the mind has died, my Spirit burning out and a physical body waiting to wither away.

What meaning does my life bear? Where does it lead to? I am turning my friends away one by one. I am turning my mother away. I have stopped almost all contact with my closer church friends. I have stopped getting involved in their lives by choice... I am sorry i have stopped being a friend.

My mind is not sound anymore. I will still function in the norm but thats it, norm. I don't know when i stopped caring... I don't know when i stopped loving... but i did.

Nothing matters to me anymore it seems. Not my job, my family, friends, church or even God... All these while i try to make it work but it finally fell apart.

I don't know if i will ever pick up the pieces again. I have lost all belief in myself and i pray that i have not lost belief in Him....

All i can say is I am sorry.

Cut your limb off.

If your left eye causes you to sin, gouge it out! If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to lose part of your limbs then to lose your whole body. To lose your being , your spirit. So says the bible. Certain principles and lessons in the bible are best learnt when put into your own context, into your own reality. Your life is based on your perception and your perception is your reality. The only way someone else’s reality becomes yours is when he cast his own reality into yours and changes your perception. That can be casting of a vision in your life. It can be a sales person selling you a product. He made his reality your perception. That’s not the point I was trying to make, and I digress.
I have come to a point in life when I realise that there are too many extra baggage that I have been trying to carry for far too long. Many friendships that have not make positive influences in my life. Perceptions cast into my life that moulded my reality. Pastor Pierre spoke of 2 things in my life that I need to change and it was very true. Circle of friends and bad habit.
I never took it too seriously but I realise that both these things have been affecting me in ways unimaginable.
Just last week, I was serving in Camporama for the royal rangers (Uniform group for Christian youth and kids) and I totally felt out of place. God was speaking to me, I used to feel in place in the company of Christians and believers, but now I just feel out of place. I used to serve in the youth group as a youth leader, I play the drums, guitar and worship lead for the services in church, I teach in Sunday school. I serve in cell group and what do I do now?
I sleep late on Sunday mornings and skip church, don’t even start talking about serving in ministry.
Where is my life heading towards? How do I get there? It doesn’t matter how I get there if I cannot answer where I want to end. My prophecy in my life has not come to past. If I cannot settle my heart in my life I will always be mediocre in whatever I do. I am willing to cut off my arm and gouge out that eye. I just asked that the Holy sprit will be my crutches and cane for me to find my way again.

What God has for you is bigger than you can ever imagine

It is easy to fall into the trap of believing in what legalistic Christians called Prosperity Gospel. There are Christians who strongly believed that money is the root of all things evil. The bible take is… love of money is the root of all evil not money itself.

There is no doubt in my mind that God is a generous God. He is the giver of all good things. He blessed His children with many good gifts and He will not stop doing that till it overflows. While there is nothing wrong with wanting to be blessed by God’s gift. There are 2 aspects that we have to be wary of.

Firstly, loving the gifts instead of the giver. Jesus was clear what was the most important thing being a child of God. To love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your strength and not have any other God’s before Him. We run into trouble when we start to put money as the no.1 priority in our lives. I am purposely citing money because many tend to equate blessings and prosperity from God in the monetary sense. Which comes to my next point.

Blessings from God does not simply equate financial blessings. I used to think so. I thought switching back into the financial industry was God’s way of telling me that its time to fill your barn with overflowing gold and multi currencies. I though when God showed me that 2008 will be a year of redemption for me meant making up for lost time that I wasted not putting my potential to full capacity in my career. While its is partly true but nevertheless it is not the sum of all its parts.

I cannot even imagine myself saying this now. I totally dig what I am doing right now. For fear of many of friends stoning me after reading this, I just want to say this out loud. It is possible to love what you are doing! At least I am feeling it right now. I am typing this blog entry in a crowded bus on my way home. Its quarter past 10 and I had just finished a 15 hour work day, I am tired but happy? Wow… unbelievable. This coming from me whose aspiration is to be a professional poker player and win the WSOP in 2010.

I will not elaborate on how God has placed me in my current placement as I have already elaborated in my previous blog entry. I seriously thought it was just for the financial blessings. The things I have learnt and was reminded of in the past 1 month has justified my move from the media industry.

I believe next week will be a great week. I will be helping out in camporama as a helper. Currently I am trying to find an avenue for me to serve and music seems too obvious. So I am praying and asking God to show me more areas of possibilities. This will be great start.

Let’s put things into perspective. God is good, he blesses. Christ has died once and for all for our sins. God cannot impute sin on us if we are under the blood of Jesus. For those sin preacher out there, woe to you if you condemn sinners! The church doors are open for sinners, don’t make the sinners feel unworthy of Jesus. Jesus came for the sinners and not the righteous. Don’t go preaching about sins in the lives of people, go preach about Christ and his finished work and His saving grace. That is what matters most.

Right believing will lead to right living! If you know God, you have experience His love in your live. Expect Great things from God. He will show you things beyond your imagination. He will richly bless your life more than you can ever imagine. Financial blessings is just a by product of His blessings in your life. You will have to think out of the box when it comes to God, cuz that’s where you will find His blessings, overflowing out of it!