乌云在我们心里搁下一块阴影
我聆听沉寂已久的心情
清晰透明就像美丽的风景
总在回忆里才看的清
被伤透的心能不能够继续爱我
我用力牵起没温度的双手
过往温柔已经被时间上锁
只剩挥散不去的难过
**********************
缓缓掉落的枫叶像思念
我点燃烛火温暖岁末的秋天
极光掠过天边
北风掠过想你的容颜
我把爱烧成了落叶
却换不回熟悉的那张脸
缓缓掉落的枫叶像思念
为何挽回要赶在冬天来之前
爱你穿越时间
两行来自秋末的眼泪
让爱渗透了地面
我要的只是你在我身边
**********************
被伤透的心能不能够继续爱我
我用力牵起没温度的双手
过往温柔已经被时间上锁
只剩挥散不去的难过
在山腰间飘逸的红雨
随著北风凋零我轻轻摇曳风铃
想唤醒被遗弃的爱情
雪花已铺满了地
深怕窗外枫叶已结成冰
Monday, 19 November 2007
Thursday, 15 November 2007
Music... its a wonderful thing
I have always love music. From just listening to singing or even performing a song during my friend's weddings. I always wondered how did it all started? How did my interest become a love. First and foremost, I love singing and there is no denying that. Somethings i can be caught walking down Orchard road singing a song out loud unknowingly. Ask some of my friends and they will be too embarassed to even recall those times.
These days, it gets better because the chances of me walking down Orchard road is lesser and i drive around. Nevertheless, singing in the car has its hazard for me and especially for other road users. Sometimes when i get into the emotions of the song, i get pretty worked up and yes i sing out loud in the car. I tend to slow down unknowingly when i am singing a sad love song. I speed up when i listen to something upbeat. Cars beside me also tend to slow down cuz they are looking at me from their seats and wondering WTF is this guy doing. And yes my face reflects the emotions of the song as well and when i mean sing, i perform the song. I will charge concert tickets for driving beside me next time.
The first song i ever remember were in the 80s where there were all these Hk Kungfu serials like Tian Long Ba bu, Sheng Diao Xia Lu and even Singapore serials like Xiao Fei Yu, Mist lock Nanyang. These songs are all classics now. I learnt to sing all those songs when i was young. Also, not forgetting all the vocal warm up i do in school every morning singing the national Anthem and hymnals from my little red song book. And yes, you guess it again, i am that itrritating classmate that sings the loudest during morning assembly. No problem in getting my class to sing in the morning, the problem is lowering the volume.
I remember there was once the whole school was assembled in the school hall after the exams and the teachers had trouble thinking of what to do with us to kill time. One of the teacher dared me to go up to the stage infront of the whole school to sing a song thinking that no one will ever embarass themselves on stage. He was wrong! I didn't just sing the song, i performed the song and had actions all the way through the song with the help of some innocent classmates who did back up beside me. The whole school laugh till their sides split, and i have just confirm myself not just a the class clown but the school clown. Not something i should be proud of really. But on hindsight, i can truly say those were the days.
This is what music can do. Music evokes emotion not just by the lyrical meaning of the song. It can be just music without lyrics and you can still be sitting there quietly crying your heart out. Music can sometimes be a key that unlocks certain memories that you thought were no longer there. Certain song bears different meaning to different people. Music is so powerful that it is used in worship in church. Beat that!
All in all, music to me is a form of communication. I can talk to my friend using the lyrics and title of songs the whole day and i will atill make sense. I can just sing what i want to say if i want to, it is irritating but it still works.
These days, it gets better because the chances of me walking down Orchard road is lesser and i drive around. Nevertheless, singing in the car has its hazard for me and especially for other road users. Sometimes when i get into the emotions of the song, i get pretty worked up and yes i sing out loud in the car. I tend to slow down unknowingly when i am singing a sad love song. I speed up when i listen to something upbeat. Cars beside me also tend to slow down cuz they are looking at me from their seats and wondering WTF is this guy doing. And yes my face reflects the emotions of the song as well and when i mean sing, i perform the song. I will charge concert tickets for driving beside me next time.
The first song i ever remember were in the 80s where there were all these Hk Kungfu serials like Tian Long Ba bu, Sheng Diao Xia Lu and even Singapore serials like Xiao Fei Yu, Mist lock Nanyang. These songs are all classics now. I learnt to sing all those songs when i was young. Also, not forgetting all the vocal warm up i do in school every morning singing the national Anthem and hymnals from my little red song book. And yes, you guess it again, i am that itrritating classmate that sings the loudest during morning assembly. No problem in getting my class to sing in the morning, the problem is lowering the volume.
I remember there was once the whole school was assembled in the school hall after the exams and the teachers had trouble thinking of what to do with us to kill time. One of the teacher dared me to go up to the stage infront of the whole school to sing a song thinking that no one will ever embarass themselves on stage. He was wrong! I didn't just sing the song, i performed the song and had actions all the way through the song with the help of some innocent classmates who did back up beside me. The whole school laugh till their sides split, and i have just confirm myself not just a the class clown but the school clown. Not something i should be proud of really. But on hindsight, i can truly say those were the days.
This is what music can do. Music evokes emotion not just by the lyrical meaning of the song. It can be just music without lyrics and you can still be sitting there quietly crying your heart out. Music can sometimes be a key that unlocks certain memories that you thought were no longer there. Certain song bears different meaning to different people. Music is so powerful that it is used in worship in church. Beat that!
All in all, music to me is a form of communication. I can talk to my friend using the lyrics and title of songs the whole day and i will atill make sense. I can just sing what i want to say if i want to, it is irritating but it still works.
Tuesday, 13 November 2007
I am a peacock and i am proud of it
What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Peacock? The 3rd definition of Peacock on Dictionary.com defines it as a a "vain, self-conscious person." Hmmm... sounds like anyone you know?
Peacock are showy by nature, but i think the definition on dictionary.com is unfair to the peacock. (I am personifying here) The thing is, we don't always want to show and spread our tail feathers and yes i am a peacock and i am proud of it!
We the peacocks are not vain, maybe self conscious but definitely not vain. We carefully pick our timing and ocassions to be showy. This is good because no matter how good you are if you keep showing off your ass, not only will people not be impress but pissed most of the time.
So my good looking bunch of friends, listen to me. I don't want to name names but Gin listen to me: no matter how pretty or good looking you think you are or even how "can make it (A sai)" and talented you think you are, pick and choose the appropriate times to show off in the most unobviously obvious way. People will be irritated and aggitated if you keep sticking your ass feathers in their face all the time. I am sure many of you can relate to people you know who are ill behaved like that, ass feather and all.
So my friends, recognize the fact that you are a peacock and be proud of it. But then again if you are a peacock you wouldn't have a problem being proud. As the saying goes:"Be as proud as a peacock, just don't be a cock!"
Wednesday, 7 November 2007
New lease of blog
Just transferred all my postings from my friendster blog over to blogspot. Think this will be a better place to host my blogs from now on. Hopefully this will also mark a new beginning in my life as well. Makes me feel like an Indian though, since Deepavali is just tomorrow, Isn't Deepavali kindof like New Year for Indians. (Lunar new yr for chinese, Hari Raya for Muslims? Duh!) New Year new beginning?!?!
So many things has been happening that makes me feel like my life is spiralling out of control. My family, my work, my personal life. My decision to stay put in Singapore and not move to Macau has many implications which i shall not go into details in such a public blog. My Mother's health is one of the factor that made up my mind.
I have spoken to many close friends about my situation and why i have come to such a decision. The thing about sharing and asking for opinions is that everyone has their own point of view and different experiences that makes them come to their own conclusion. What you have to do is to flilter such "advices" and extract the crux of it and come to your own conclusion. Most important of all, make a decision.
To come to a decision you will need to visualise the end result in your mind (ala 7 habits of highly effective people) Once you know you can live with the result, balancing all the pros and cons, risk and rewards, put your foot down and say, i have decided and this is what i want to do. Mind you, this will not be easy to do, that is being unwaivering in your decision. Many people will start telling you their point of views and why you shouldn't do this and why shouldn't do that. At one point i was very sure that i was going to Macau for at least 1 year. Look at me now, i am very sure that i am not moving to Macau, but this time i have very substantial reasons why i am not moving there.
I never knew myself as much as i have in the past year. All the experiences i have garnered was all worth the sacrifices and shit i went through. I realise what i can do and what i cannot do. I realise what i can excel in and what i can do just averagely. I understand what is most important to me versus what is just good for me. My weaknesses versus my strengths. My confidence versus the lack of self esteem. How i view myself and how others view me. This wilderness experience has taken me walking round and round for too long. I have been in the wilderness for more than 10 years now. God, isn't it time to move into the promise land?!?
"'I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!'"
So many things has been happening that makes me feel like my life is spiralling out of control. My family, my work, my personal life. My decision to stay put in Singapore and not move to Macau has many implications which i shall not go into details in such a public blog. My Mother's health is one of the factor that made up my mind.
I have spoken to many close friends about my situation and why i have come to such a decision. The thing about sharing and asking for opinions is that everyone has their own point of view and different experiences that makes them come to their own conclusion. What you have to do is to flilter such "advices" and extract the crux of it and come to your own conclusion. Most important of all, make a decision.
To come to a decision you will need to visualise the end result in your mind (ala 7 habits of highly effective people) Once you know you can live with the result, balancing all the pros and cons, risk and rewards, put your foot down and say, i have decided and this is what i want to do. Mind you, this will not be easy to do, that is being unwaivering in your decision. Many people will start telling you their point of views and why you shouldn't do this and why shouldn't do that. At one point i was very sure that i was going to Macau for at least 1 year. Look at me now, i am very sure that i am not moving to Macau, but this time i have very substantial reasons why i am not moving there.
I never knew myself as much as i have in the past year. All the experiences i have garnered was all worth the sacrifices and shit i went through. I realise what i can do and what i cannot do. I realise what i can excel in and what i can do just averagely. I understand what is most important to me versus what is just good for me. My weaknesses versus my strengths. My confidence versus the lack of self esteem. How i view myself and how others view me. This wilderness experience has taken me walking round and round for too long. I have been in the wilderness for more than 10 years now. God, isn't it time to move into the promise land?!?
"'I wonder if I've been changed in the night? Let me think: was I the same when I got up this morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?' Ah, that's the great puzzle!'"
Friday, 26 October 2007
Whats' love got to do with it?
Recently i had a very interesting conversation with a friend about breakups. It got me thinking about how okay is it to be still friends with your ex. after the breakup? Isn't it a little weird that someone who use to be so close to you suddenly becomes just a friend?
I use to be a firm believer that it is possible. Not anymore actually, it actually feels kind of strange to see your ex. as a friend. Especially seeing your ex. with someone new. It feels like listening to your own voice after recording it, damn bloody stupid and weird!
I mean i am happy that she has moved on but it feels very uncomfortable. Imagine meeting both of them and having to small talk. The conversation might go something like "Hey how are you?" "Great we are doing fine?" You carefully avoid topics that will reveal you were once close, so you moved on to very generic questions about work? recreational topics etc. How painful is that? Its like sitting through dinner with fear factor on tv, bull testicles in your face and pig urine poured over your head. Totally nauseating.
Btw i am imagining all this in my head, not that all these things actually happened. I could do what my friend did which was to totally shut the person out of her life and just remain as "hi and bye" friends (which means you are actually not a friend), block her out of msn and avoid places that you know she will be there.
I was thinking that i might be sub consiously doing all these things. Actually it started off with me trying to find her as i was not not over the relationship myself. Then as time goes by, with my friends making it easier for me to get over it. i started to avoid going to places she goes to, meeting with mutual friends. All these i learn only on hindsight.
Well i think generally life has been good to me still. Although my life is not perfect, i wish i have been attending church more regularly, my current credit card bills are at a "too high" level, while my pay is not. My investments are doing badly... my cherry QQ has been throwing tantrums and cost me a mini fortune to make him happy again.
Through it all, i am just glad that i have friends around me who have shown support whenever they can, keeping me company and most importantly their life sucks just like mine! Rawt Onnnn!!!! The imperfection of life is perfect for living! Most importantly, His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses!
I use to be a firm believer that it is possible. Not anymore actually, it actually feels kind of strange to see your ex. as a friend. Especially seeing your ex. with someone new. It feels like listening to your own voice after recording it, damn bloody stupid and weird!
I mean i am happy that she has moved on but it feels very uncomfortable. Imagine meeting both of them and having to small talk. The conversation might go something like "Hey how are you?" "Great we are doing fine?" You carefully avoid topics that will reveal you were once close, so you moved on to very generic questions about work? recreational topics etc. How painful is that? Its like sitting through dinner with fear factor on tv, bull testicles in your face and pig urine poured over your head. Totally nauseating.
Btw i am imagining all this in my head, not that all these things actually happened. I could do what my friend did which was to totally shut the person out of her life and just remain as "hi and bye" friends (which means you are actually not a friend), block her out of msn and avoid places that you know she will be there.
I was thinking that i might be sub consiously doing all these things. Actually it started off with me trying to find her as i was not not over the relationship myself. Then as time goes by, with my friends making it easier for me to get over it. i started to avoid going to places she goes to, meeting with mutual friends. All these i learn only on hindsight.
Well i think generally life has been good to me still. Although my life is not perfect, i wish i have been attending church more regularly, my current credit card bills are at a "too high" level, while my pay is not. My investments are doing badly... my cherry QQ has been throwing tantrums and cost me a mini fortune to make him happy again.
Through it all, i am just glad that i have friends around me who have shown support whenever they can, keeping me company and most importantly their life sucks just like mine! Rawt Onnnn!!!! The imperfection of life is perfect for living! Most importantly, His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses!
Tuesday, 23 October 2007
Don't just bitch about it
The typical Singaporean trait that we've all grown to accept are characteristics like Kiasu, Kiasee, kia this and kia that. We bitch about how S'porean drivers don't signal when they change lane, don't give way to others, horn at almost anything that moves (or don't move). We bitch about how S'porean's complain about the government, about raising taxes, bus fares and petrol prices.
Notice that when we say "typical Singaporeans" we mean the other Singaporeans, its never "us". It's the "others".... Wooooo spooky. Who are these others??? Are you Singaporean???
These same Singaporeans that cut your lane, speed up when you are signalling to change lane could be doing the same thing complaining to their friend about the driver who signal for the longest time but didn't change lane, "Kayu driver", they bitched.
"Why do you see the speck of dust in your brother's eye and not the plank in your own eyes?". This was what my secondary school teacher tried to impart to my class more than a decade ago. Weird that i still remember what she said but not how she looked like.
I think its right that we bitched about certain things. The rule is that only bitch about things you are sure you don't commit yourself. If you do the same things and bitch about others you are classified as hypocritical. Its like my last trip to Macau, when "some people" cut my queue and started to shout at others who cut the queues after them. It is as if they have the first right of refusal, first to cut the queues have the first rights and "nope, one cut per queue only". Find your own queue to cut somewhere else.
I am also guilty of bitching and guilty of not giving way to other drivers sometime. When i am told to buy 2 bottle of drinks for a house party, i buy 4 bottles (Kia-su) When i received a parking fine reminder (red colour) i immediately write in to appeal my fine (Kia-see). When i was taken a longer route by the taxi driver and was charge 50 cents more than the usual fare, i refused to pay extra. (Kia- taken advantage of)
The Singapore government should make my Car the official car for Singapore since our neighbour up north has their own car as well. Guess what car i am driving? Make an intelligent guess...
Notice that when we say "typical Singaporeans" we mean the other Singaporeans, its never "us". It's the "others".... Wooooo spooky. Who are these others??? Are you Singaporean???
These same Singaporeans that cut your lane, speed up when you are signalling to change lane could be doing the same thing complaining to their friend about the driver who signal for the longest time but didn't change lane, "Kayu driver", they bitched.
"Why do you see the speck of dust in your brother's eye and not the plank in your own eyes?". This was what my secondary school teacher tried to impart to my class more than a decade ago. Weird that i still remember what she said but not how she looked like.
I think its right that we bitched about certain things. The rule is that only bitch about things you are sure you don't commit yourself. If you do the same things and bitch about others you are classified as hypocritical. Its like my last trip to Macau, when "some people" cut my queue and started to shout at others who cut the queues after them. It is as if they have the first right of refusal, first to cut the queues have the first rights and "nope, one cut per queue only". Find your own queue to cut somewhere else.
I am also guilty of bitching and guilty of not giving way to other drivers sometime. When i am told to buy 2 bottle of drinks for a house party, i buy 4 bottles (Kia-su) When i received a parking fine reminder (red colour) i immediately write in to appeal my fine (Kia-see). When i was taken a longer route by the taxi driver and was charge 50 cents more than the usual fare, i refused to pay extra. (Kia- taken advantage of)
The Singapore government should make my Car the official car for Singapore since our neighbour up north has their own car as well. Guess what car i am driving? Make an intelligent guess...
Tuesday, 25 September 2007
Closet Paris Fan
I just realise that by posting this i am no longer a "closet" Paris Fan. Heck... might as well just come out of the closet and declare to the world that i am. The next time i am going to K Garden in Serangoon Gardens i will sing Stars are blind. Mind you, i can sing in a falsetto pretty well and put many girls to shame. Then again i shouldn't be proud of this at all. As it is, many who don't know me are already wondering if i belong to the clubs along tanjong pagar. Arrghhhh!!! Screw sexual identity!
Back to the Heiress. I think there are many things we can learn from this seemingly dumb blond. For starters, i am beginning to suspect that she leaked her sex tape out on purpose. She is probably sitting in a board room now surrounded by her advisers plotting her next move to bring her to legendary dumb blond status.
She has the drive to succeed no matter what the circumstances. She wasn't the least affected by the sex tape saga and rode on it like an expert sufer and propelled herself from socialite status to international celebrity almost overnight. Everyone was ogling Paris... i mean googling Paris Hilton on the internet for whatever reason they may have... (Think Tammy from some polytechnic, its incredible how the video clip find its way to so many handphones in Singapore)
Paris does not have a voice like Kelly Clarkson but she does have a good tone. She doesn't mind the dumb blond label and rode with it in "reality" shows like the simple life. (Not much of reality in that show if you ask me, no way they will act the way they did without the cameras) She sings and act like her on screen persona, and i doubt that is the real Paris. Smart lass if you ask me. She really does know how to run a business, in this case Paris Hilton Limited. Fragrance line, get out of prison outfit, Paris is as good as it gets when you think Hollywood!
I am adding this to my to do list before i die... Meet Paris in person. I will really like to talk to her and know her as a person. Maybe she will impart some of her business acumens to me and i will be Singapore's next top entrepreneur and market myself worldwide. Think i should dye my hair blond for a start and start living my not so simple life.
Back to the Heiress. I think there are many things we can learn from this seemingly dumb blond. For starters, i am beginning to suspect that she leaked her sex tape out on purpose. She is probably sitting in a board room now surrounded by her advisers plotting her next move to bring her to legendary dumb blond status.
She has the drive to succeed no matter what the circumstances. She wasn't the least affected by the sex tape saga and rode on it like an expert sufer and propelled herself from socialite status to international celebrity almost overnight. Everyone was ogling Paris... i mean googling Paris Hilton on the internet for whatever reason they may have... (Think Tammy from some polytechnic, its incredible how the video clip find its way to so many handphones in Singapore)
Paris does not have a voice like Kelly Clarkson but she does have a good tone. She doesn't mind the dumb blond label and rode with it in "reality" shows like the simple life. (Not much of reality in that show if you ask me, no way they will act the way they did without the cameras) She sings and act like her on screen persona, and i doubt that is the real Paris. Smart lass if you ask me. She really does know how to run a business, in this case Paris Hilton Limited. Fragrance line, get out of prison outfit, Paris is as good as it gets when you think Hollywood!
I am adding this to my to do list before i die... Meet Paris in person. I will really like to talk to her and know her as a person. Maybe she will impart some of her business acumens to me and i will be Singapore's next top entrepreneur and market myself worldwide. Think i should dye my hair blond for a start and start living my not so simple life.
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